Hello everyone and happy new year! I don't know if you feel the same but I've never been so happy to see a year be put behind us as 2008. I mean, don't let the universe door hit you in the butt on the way out! Gracious, what a year huh?
Christmas has come and gone and the tree is down and in the back of the pickup. I've vacuumed and dusted the house and taken down all the Christmas decorations. In a way, I was glad to put it all away. I have plans for this year...I'm going to find a nice church and get to know some great people. I realized that I've been lonely. Not for lack of people mind you but lonely for Jesus.
I've been a born again Christian since August of 1984. He pulled me up from the lowest point in my life. I was ready to pack it all in and take my life but Jesus saved me and I've never felt that way since. I've been in quite a few different churches since then. I've visited Baptist, Methodist, Church of Christ, Pentecostal, and many different non-denominational ones but a few years ago, I quit going because I just couldn't find my niche. I've never stopped believing or hoping or praying. I talk to Jesus all the time and ask for his Divine guidance daily with my job and life. I guess what I am searching for is more of a closeness to Jesus. I got frustrated when I visited the many churches. Every time I thought about joining one, I was told that I had to go through 6 or 7 weeks of new member classes. These classes went over salvation and how to get it and etc. I was already saved! I knew all that stuff and what I wanted was to sink my teeth into the meat of the gospel. I thought that just being married would fix everything but I was still lonely and when that marriage ended after 14 years, I pretty much gave up.
Enter 2009, a whole new year, a whole new chance at improving my life and erasing some of this loneliness that I have been experiencing. My sweetie has agreed to commit with me to finding a church and I'll pray daily, asking God to lead us to the right one. I don't know where that will be but I am willing and able to step out on faith and let Jesus and the Angeles show me the way. I hope we can find some comfort there. I hope we can find some friends there. I crave the Word. I want to feel empowered again by the Holy Spirit. I no longer want to fear death as I have been.
This will be a journey that will bring out many feelings and memories. I hope I can grow and learn to be the Christian that God wants me to be. I hope I can face the Devil and tell him boldly "Get behind me because you're not going to hurt me anymore". I look forward to this journey. I look forward to sharing this time with my dear husband. I yearn for the healing that Jesus has in store for me. For now, this is my deepest wish. Cheers! Freedancer
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