Spring Has Finally Sprung

I never thought it would finally get here but I welcome it gladly.  Yes, the ol' Springtime has made it's way into Billings Montana.  I've never been so glad to see a season as I have this one.  The first time I went outside without my coat and hat was a true blessing!

Seasons here are short and sweet.  They often slip in before you know it and when you are really starting to enjoy them, away they go!  I have actually seen it snow here in July believe it or not!  Spring this year has brought quite a bit of changes to our home.  In April, we lost our beloved Lassa Apsa of 18 years.  He had gotten to the point of sleeping almost 23 hours a day and when he drank water, he immediately started to pee.  After some soul searching, it was decided that it was time to send him home to Jesus.  Funny though, I hear from many people who say that animals have no soul?  Well, I can state here and now...there is a soul because I looked into my dogs eyes and said good by to him.  I saw his life in those eyes and when he passed on, the life and light in his eyes was no longer present.  I believe this was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my entire life thus far.  The house is quiet and still now.  No one comes to the door to greet me after a hard day, no one is under the table hoping for a hand out, no one licks my hand softly when I am feeling sad and need a friend.  I hope he knew that I loved him, even if there were times I was feeling a little angry at him for not getting outside in time.

We are looking forward to our next Geocaching adventure to Alaska.  It will be a place that we haven't yet been and we are excited about it.  We will be joining others on a Geocaching Cruise in the near future.  This is the first of it's kind and we hope to join in with many more.  I never thought I would get my hubby onto another cruise ship but he ran across this cruise and immediately said, "We're on it Baby!"  I guess the key is to let them make the arrangements and they will like it better.  So we gleefully await our trip.

I have a new visitor to my backyard this year.  His name is Nut Job and he is the cutest little fellow you could ever meet.  It amazes me that he actually knows when I am up in the morning.  He jumps up on the tree near our bathroom window and chatters away until I open the window and greet him.  He posed for a few pictures and they were outstanding!  I also have some lovely birds visiting my feeders.  There is a handsome House Finch with a beautiful red head that frequents my window feeder.  There are Black Capped Chickadees and Sparrows and others. I have planted some wild flowers this year and set up my rock garden for them to grow in.  I am looking forward to my little utopia springing to life!  Animals are so precious.  I am so blessed to be able to share in their lives.  I know I will have some great photo op's as well.

My hubby has given his notice at his job.  He is to retire at the end of June, this year.  He is looking forward to just piddling around at home with no particular schedule.  I am looking forward to his attacking the "Honey Do" list with gusto!  There is much to get done around here and he is so good at what he does!

Well, I guess that is all I have for now.  The next story will surely be about Alaska.  Cheers!  Freedancer

First Trip of the New Year

Well, the first trip of the new year went off without a hitch!  We hopped in the car without the trailer this time and headed to California.  Our first night was spent in Logan Utah where we woke up to about 10-15 inches of new snow!  It took me about 20 minutes to dig the van out.  I did a little "pay it forward" and dug out the cars on either side of me.  I would have enjoyed seeing thier faces when they trudged out thinking they would have to dig out thier cars!

We headed down the road, finding geocaches as we went.  We ended up with about 100 and that put my count over 1300 caches!  After getting into California, we had great weather.  The temp was around 75 or so and we soaked up every single ray!  The winters are so long in Montana.  We decided that we fully understand the "Snowbirds" now and want to cash in on the whole concept.  We were able to go to Indio CA to visit a friend who had recently lost his wife.  It was good to see him and know that he was getting along ok.  He has children in the area so he had a lot of support.

We had a really funny experience in Palm Springs.  We were trying to be the first to find on 7 new caches that just came out that morning.  When we got to Palm Springs, I ran into the Starbucks coffee shop while my sweetie waited in the car.  It was about 10:30 or so and in all actuality, being first to find probably was a pipe dream at that point.  As I waited for my order, I looked outside and saw this huge group of elderly people coming into the city from all directions!  It was like an Alfred Hitchcock movie.  I must have made a coment out loud about that because several patrons started to crack up laughing!  I mean, it was like a huge pod opened up and all these people 80+ came out onto the street!  Anyway, the lady behind the counter stated  "This happens every day about this time.  Then around 6:30 or so, they all disappear!"  We laughed pretty hard.  When I went back to the car with our coffee, my husband had a very confused look on his face.  "Did you see that?  I mean, I thought I was in another demention!"  We had a pretty good chuckel about the whole thing.

We based ourselves out of Banning CA where we spent 4 days at the Stagecoach KOA.  We rented a fully stocked trailer for $160.00 for four days.  It was clean and beautiful.  Only thing we had to buy was our food.  There was no smoking allowed in the trailer so I was in "hog heaven" because my hubby had to smoke outside.  I had a whole week of fresh air!  Wow, what a great concept!  He has since informed me that he has made the decision to quit and will be starting on Chantix in a few weeks.  Cross your fingers everyone!  I truly hope this works.

We only had one dislike for the area we cached in and that was the trash.  I don't know if it is the wind or the fact that California is out of money but it looked like a dump heap almost every place we stopped.  We pulled off at a great deal of off ramps as there were caches hidden in those areas and the trash was so bad, I didn't even want to get out of the car!  It is this Montana girl's opinion that with all the prisoners that are incarcerated in California, trash along the highways and cities should not be an issue.  If I was the Govener of California, I would be embarrased to have any visitors come to my State.  With all the garbage around, I don't really see why anyone would want to visit!  C'mon Arnold!  Clean up your State!!!

So here we are anxiousally awaiting for the Health Care to pass...NOT!  I don't know about all of you but something really smells with this deal!  I mean, if it only takes a ride on Airforce One to change someone's mind.  Here's my take on the Dennis C. thing...he's up on the plane with the President holding on to the back of his suspenders and he's dangeling out of the side door..."Now, which way are you voting Dennis?  Maybe you better think this over carefully".  I think the Dems brought out everything they could use against the few that were holding out.  They either bribed them or threatened them or thier families to get the votes.  It's cheap and dirty and the President is at the helm of the whole thing.  It is my opinion that he's a narcistic little whimp who throws a tanthrum when he doesn't get his way.  America, wise up...we gotta vote this guy out on the next election and get someone who will represent us, the people.  Get busy with your Tea Parties and find a man who has integrity, strength and honesty. 

Well, the next vacation of 2010 is planned.  We are going on a Geocaching cruise to Alaska.  We will first hit Geo-Woodstock in Carnation Washington and then get on the ship the next day.  We are pumped about this one!  This is the first Geocaching cruise that this leader has done and if all goes well, Hawaii and Austrailia are next on the list.  Bring it on...I and my beloved spouse are ready to bite into this and have a great time.

My little girl's first wedding anneversary is fast aproaching.  It is hard to beleive that she's been married a year.  She and her betrothed are doing well and learning about the ways of marriage.  She is doing great in college and will gratuate in 2011 or 2012.  She switched mid-stream to a different major so it may take her a little longer to graduate.  She was blessed with a schollarship this year.  I was so proud of her.  He sweet hubby has been taking the chior kids that he teaches on tour around Montana.  They have really been doing well. 

Well, I turned 55 yesterday.  It is hard to beleive that I am that old.  My sweet spouse will be retiring this year and then he will be home working on "Honey-do" things.  It will be odd having him home.  I hope a lot of projects get done.  My big goals are to get rid of the BMW that has been living in the back yard for several years and for him to clean out the carriage house from all the piled up junk!  He could well be one of those A&E hoarders I think.  He is slowly getting better however.  In a few more years, I just might have the trim back up on the walls upstairs and if I am lucky, I can get him to eat carrots!  He's not a veggie lover like me.

Well, that's it for this blog.  I do hope everyone has a great year.  Stay tuned to hear about any more trips.  As always...Cheers!  Freedancer

Another Year Ending

Well, another year is coming to an end. It has been a difficult year don't you think? Loss of jobs, Congress and the House going crazy on spending and a lot more. I think it has been a lonely year. There were a few bright spots along the way such as my daughter's wedding and my other son gaining more independence in his life.

This year, our families did not exchange any gifts for Christmas. The consensus was that we just couldn't afford the cost of it. It was my father's request and we all agreed. It was quite a lean Christmas for all but it was quiet and we refocused on what Christmas was all about. It's not the gifts or lack of. It's not the fudge or cookies or mauled wine. Christmas is a time to renew our relationship with the Lord. After all, He gave his life so we could all be free of sin. What a gift that was! I, for one, am eternally grateful for the gift that Jesus gave to me. If you do not have this special gift, try to seek it out this year. Your eyes will see the world in a whole different light.

This year, my older son and I again made treats for the Billings Fire Dept, Terry Park division. We have been doing this as a family for almost 10 years. It makes us happy to give them a nice card and treats on Christmas Eve. We actually went into the station this year and that was fun for us. Their eyes lit up and they called for the other firefighters to come down and have some treats. It is always worth the work.

It was very hard to get into the Christmas spirit this year. It seemed to come so fast that it caught us off guard and we couldn't seem to grasp the magic of it all. Everyone I talked to seemed to feel the same way. We decorated at work and I made my yearly gifts for the crew but it just didn't feel "right" this year. Maybe it will be better next year.

There was a little levity for my husband and I here at home however. We went tree shopping and my husband, God bless him, picked out a real interesting tree. Thinking it would "fall out nicely" we put it up and waited...waited...waited. Nope, it barely opened up and when it did, OMG! It was funny as we both work in the Mental Health Center and the tree...was quite the "patient" so to speak. It had branches that shot out in all directions. There were two different tops on the tree that we hadn't noticed when we bought it. It kept sucking the water tray dry to the point that I could barely keep up with it. The lights and the ornaments looked completely out of place. After studying it for a while, we both decided that it was definitely Schizophrenic, Borderline and Multiple Personality Disordered! This brought laughter to us both as we agreed that it was probably the "perfect" tree for us. This was confirmed when my dear daughter came in the house for her Christmas visit and stated "Oh Mother...Charlie Brown would be proud!" She and her sweet hubby enjoyed our rendition of the "hunt and capture" of this interesting tree.

I have come to the conclusion that I will be the "short visit parent" of my children. My daughter has married into a lovely close family and she has bonded well with them. However, this is okay with me as I know our life was not as rosy when she was growing up. She had decided to live with her father after our split and the "new" step-mother was well....lets just say she was a little overbearing for my daughter. She got out of there as soon as she could. I am glad we have a good relationship. We laugh and talk and cry over many things but it is always happy crying not sad crying. I am already collecting toys and fun things for my future grandchild whenever we get one.

The weather has not been the best here in old Billings Montana. We had a white Christmas but it is so cold that we have been "house prisoners". My spouse lovingly stated that he was "going stir crazy" stuck in the house all these days and I lovingly replied "So what are you going to do when you retire?". He just sighed and told me he wasn't sure but knows it will be this coming year. I, of course, have a "Honey-do list" already rolling around in my brain.

This next year has some nice prospects for us. We recently went over 10 years with the Mental Health Center here in Billings. This has given us a very "small" raise but a very nice increase in our vacation to 14 hours a month. This adds up quickly and we are going to make a trip down to Hemet California in February 2010 to visit my father and mother. Of course, we will make their home a "Base Camp" and do plenty of Geocaching while we are there. In July 2010 we are going to attend Geo-Woodstock in Carnation Washington. We will base ourselves in Yelm at the parents Summer home and drive over there. After that, we embark on a Geocaching Cruise to Alaska on the Norwegian Cruise Line that leaves out of Seattle. We will return in later July. This will be the Cruise Director's first Geocaching cruise and if it goes well, he will do more. We of course plan to be on most of them! I never thought I would get my hubby back onto a cruise ship after the last one. He hated that cruise we took right after we were married in 2005. He swore he would never take another but when he saw there was Geocaching with this upcoming one, he jumped on it. However, he almost procrastinated too long and when he paid the deposit, there were only 2 rooms left!

There will be a lot to write about in the future. Stay tuned and check out this Blog to keep up with the "news" as it happens. Good luck to all of you in 2010! As always, Cheers! Freedancer

Last Vacation of 2009

Well hello everyone! I thought I would take a little time and blog about our final vacation of 2009. We had an outstanding time! For this vacation we headed South, back to Utah and Arizona. It was the first time I have ever seen Canyonlands National Park and the Grand Canyon. There is no way, after seeing all of this beauty, that one cannot believe in God! The handy work of these creations could not be made any other way.

We started out on the 12th of September with taking a geo-jaunt down to Wyoming to attend a "Meet and Greet" with some of our Wyoming club members. One of our geocachers had recently lost his wife from heart disease and it was the first time we had seen him since the tragedy. I guess in addition to hunting for caches, we all wanted to rally around him and let him know how much he was loved. We had a blast looking for caches and ran into some interesting scenarios. One of the caches was located on a fence post, close to some big tires. As we were looking for the cache, I started to reach my hand into one of the tires to check and stopped short of getting pricked by several discarded hypodermic needles! Needless to say, we posted a warning on the site so others would not get hurt.

After we returned from this day jaunt, we packed up and got ready to head out South the next day. It never amazes me that we "plan" to get out early but end up leaving at our regular time of 11:00. It doesn't matter how hard we work at it, that seems to be the bewitching hour. This time I just gave up and let it all flow. After all, I was on vacation and didn't have to hurry. We actually made it to Twin Falls Idaho and secured a spot at the Snake River RV Park. We had stayed in this park before and fell in love with it! Nice spaces and clean restrooms. I love to camp but I just am not willing to give up my shower. The next morning I heard a real odd cry of a bird so I grabbed my long distance camera and zoomed in on the cell tower close to the campsite. It turned out that there was this beautiful Osprey sitting on the tower. At first I thought it was a Gosh Hawk but when I looked it up in my bird book, it turned out to be an Osprey. He was really a sight to see! I'm not the best at bird spotting but I had just gotten some really nice books from the book store and decided that since I geocaching, I may as well start bird watching as well.

We packed up and got ready to leave the park and I realized that in the hustle of packing up and putting down the trailer, I had lost my glasses. Oh heck! I am blind as a bat without them. You see, in 2002 I was attacked by a mental health patient who made a punching bag out of my head. Since that time, I see double and get severe migraines. The blows also separated the Vitreous from my eyes which caused floaters to slide across my eyes and impair my vision. I was quite frantic about losing the glasses. Without them, I couldn't help my hubby with the driving and I cannot see at night. We left our name and cell numbers at the desk and headed down the road. About 50 miles away, we got the call that my glasses had been found and my husband unselfishly made the trip back to get them. We didn't make a great deal of time that day but at least I got the glasses back.

We made it down to Utah and planted our trailer at the Canyonland RV Park in Moab. This was another nice park with clean facilities. We decided we would stay here for two days. Canyonlands National Park was so beautiful! We were able to see a wonderful sunset over the park. It was fascinating to see the canyons within a canyon. I took so many pictures and got some stunning shots. I took in the fresh air and the sounds of the wind. Outside of the park, I was able to pick up some sand for my collection. There were reds and creams and dark browns. We drove back late, when the last of the sunlight had faded away. Tomorrow, we would be headed to Arizona.

We got up and of course, made our way out of the camp at our usual time of 11:00 am. We hoped to make it to Flagstaff at a reasonable hour but we wanted to do some geocaching along the way. We got to Monticello Utah where we wanted to find a cache located in the Pioneer Museum so we found a place to pull the car and trailer over. After locating the cache, we made our way back to the car and headed out of town. About a mile out of the town, I saw a funny sign that I wanted to get a shot of so my hubby pulled over and I ran across the street to take the pictures. It was the road departments idea of a funny joke as it had one sign that read "Watch for Deer on Roadway" and the second one read "Dead or Alive". Well, I had to have that sign for my collection...bad, bad mistake! As I made my way back across the street, I slipped and fell onto the side of the asphalt. Beings as I tried to catch myself with my left hand, I fell slightly onto my right leg. The asphalt, which was new from the stimulus money, cut through my pants, slicing my right leg. Well, I knew I had done it up bad this time and hollered for my husband. Not only had I put a large gash in my leg, I later found out that I tore my rotators cuff of my left shoulder. He took my to the Johnson County Hospital where they stitched up my leg. Well, this sucks! I wasn't going to let this mishap screw up my vacation. The doctor was stellar and the nursing staff outstanding at this hospital. About two days later around 0400 in the morning, my leg "woke up". Holy cow! Where's the Advil?? We worked out a system with the geocaching however, my sweetie would do the ground crawling and I worked the GPS and got the high up stuff. It really worked out pretty well.

After the Monticello detour, we managed to roll into Flagstaff about midnight. We had reserved our spot and were trying to be very quiet as to not wake up the other persons in the camp. However, we were given a site with a huge gully on it and we couldn't even out the trailer no matter how hard we worked at it. Finally, we were just so tired that we gave up. It was odd sleeping on a slope. You sort of had the feeling like you were in the Mystery House in Oregon. The next day, we did some town caching and drove out to the Grand Canyon. That was probably the most beautiful place I had ever been. While there, I got some great pictures of a flock of turkey buzzards soaring on the breeze above the canyon. I wish we could have stayed a little longer to hike around but we had to get back. On the way back, we went through a little storm which produced a fabulous double rainbow. As luck would have it, I snapped some great shots of them which is sometimes hard to do.

We got up the next morning and made our way down to Sedona Arizona. It was a stunning town. The red cliffs towered all around like sentinels protecting it from every angle. I got some great shots of Oak Creek Canyon on the way down to Sedona and some nice shots of the town and area around it. As we headed back, we decided to go out of town the other direction thinking it would be quicker. That was a mistake...there was a round-about every few miles and road construction (no doubt from the wonderful stimulus cash) practically the whole way back. We were starving as we didn't get anything to eat in Sedona and it was pitch dark. After finally making it back to Flagstaff, we grabbed some all night Mexican food and fell into bed.

We left the next morning and drove down Route 66 to Gallup New Mexico before turning North and heading home to Billings Montana. We decided to stay in a motel here so be picked one out and signed in. It was a pretty nice room but the nicotine was so thick on the windows, we could barely see out. Now my husband is a smoker but this even grossed him out! We got the Windex from the car and spent 15 minutes cleaning the grime off the window. Believe it or not, the room actually smelled better just by cleaning the windows! After spending the night in semi-luxury we did some city caching and I was able to find a focal stone to go with the beads I purchased in Sedona. The beads I bought there were the color of the hills and the green foliage. It will be fun putting together a vacation necklace to remember the trip.

We left Gallup and headed North. We were tired and ready to sleep in our own bed. Traveling is great but there's nothing like falling into your own bed. We have another trip planned for February where we will head South again but go to Hemet California where we will visit my parents and do some geocaching. So until that time, cheers! Freedancer.

A Little Update On Life

Hello all, tomorrow will be September 1st already! Gracious, where has Summer gone? We took our first vacation of the Summer in late June. This time, we traveled to Vancouver Island British Columbia. Mind you, it hadn't rained on that island for four long months and as soon as we set foot on the island...it poured down rain! We had one day in the five we were there that it didn't drown us. We had hopes that we could knock down about 50 geocaches while there. The island is loaded with them and most are the ammo can type. That means there is lots of swag just waitin for the takin! However, the liquid sunshine kept us from catching till we dropped on this trip.

I found out an interesting fact while visiting Vancouver Island and that is that slugs are as ugly on Vancouver Island as they are in Washington State. Yes...I said SLUGS! Dear God, how could you possibly have a use for these disgusting things? They don't do anything and if they were to do anything or go any place it would take them a lifetime to actually accomplish it. As we walked through the woods on our way to find a geocache, I literally found myself doing the slug dodging dance to keep from stomping on one and ruining my new hiking boots. None of you know this next tidbit of news about my hatred of slugs. I have severe PTSD from them. As a child, I grew up in Burien Washington. We did all the fun kid stuff growing up and one of them was sleeping out under the lovely stars at each other's homes. We'd just grab our sleeping bags, a pillow and a flashlight and cram ourselves on to a half inflated air mattress in our friends back yard. The great anticipation was...what was our buddy's mom going to fix for breakfast the next morning. Oh yes...that was an unspoken rule between the parents. You let the kids sleep over, they don't come home until their bellies are full. Now that posed a problem because my mother was probably one of the best breakfast cooks on the block, so our back yard was always chalk full of kids and the other parents ended up owing a lot to my parents. Well enough of that side track...back to the slugs. As life would have it, I chose one Friday night to stay over at my girlfriends house. Her mother was French and could she make the crapes! As we slumbered under the stars, the slugs decided that my hair was the perfect place to cross over to the other side of the yard. Oh yea...remember I told you that it takes a really long time for a slug to do anything? Well, I awoke the next day as the sun came up in great anticipation of having strawberry crapes. Nope...never saw one single strawberry. My friend took one look at my hair and let out a blood curdling scream. Her mom thought one of us was dead or something and bolted out the door to see what was wrong. The slugs had gotten tangled up in my long hair and couldn't get out! She marched me home to my sleep deprived parents who spent the next 4 to 6 hours cleaning slime and slugs out of my hair. I've been traumatised ever since! Needless to say, if I could have cornered the market on salt, I would have. In case you are not familiar with it, salt will melt the little buggers in seconds flat!

So...as we flip back to present time...that was the jest of our first vacation, slugs and lots of rain.

There were a few stellar moments on the trip. The trip across the strait from mainland Canada to Vancouver Island was quite delightful, especially the trip back. The sun decided to come out on the way home so we sat out on the deck of the ferry and took in as much of it as we could. We also chose a different route back to I-90. After we got through the Canadian border we drove down a little side road and went through Duvall and Carnation Washington. When I was a kid, my parents would take us to the Carnation Dairy Farm for a tour. I remember it being quite interesting but the best part was they gave us ice cream at the end of the tour. It was kind of like the kids version of the Budweiser brewery tour! It really is a sweet little town. We were able to geocach on our way back to Montana while traveling through some of the little towns and that made the whole trip worthwhile. Any time we can geocache makes for a good time for us.

My daughter and son in law came to say their goodbye's after we got home. They moved to Belgrade Montana where he was able to accept a teaching job and she could finish college. She too will be a teacher. Of course it was a teary-eyed moment for me. I thought I had gotten over the butterflies in the stomach but they all came back as I watched the kids drive away. It is good for them though. Now they have to rely on each other if times get a little rocky. She can't run home and neither can he. They have their own place together now and taking ownership is half the battle. She called the other day, asking for the ever famous hamburger pie recipe. She hadn't started classes yet and was settling into the housewife roll. She's learned to make meatloaf instead of breadloaf and can even make a mean cuppa joe! She always starts the conversations with "First of all, I'm not pregnant" but I hope someday I get a call that says she is. I'd like to have a chance to spoil the little darling rotten before they don't want to have grandma wipe their face off with the sour kitchen rag! I'd like to sit and watch stupid B movies with them and eat popcorn in our jammie's. I'd like to make tents over specially placed kitchen chairs and get cookie dough on the ceiling fan. I'd like to sit and play with play dough and finger paints and maybe scrape color crayons onto wax paper, sealing it with an iron and hanging it in the window. I'd like to snuggle in a handmade quilt that was made especially for them. Oh, how I want to be around to do all of those things and more. I want to gaze into the angelic face of my grandchild while they stand defiantly, asking me "Grandma, why do I have to always do what you say?" I hope I am around to watch them accept Jesus, get baptised, graduate from high school and college and someday, take a wife or husband. So much to look forward to and so little time to do it all in.

So...I keep on working at my job, trying to help my clients survive their crazy, mixed up lives. My husband plans to retire soon and I hope he can have some time to enjoy his life for a while. I've seen so many folks retire and end up dying right away! What's up with that anyway? I have plans to hang around and annoy everyone with my blogs for a long time! So you better make room for me because I have a lot more to say. I guess you can compare me to the slug in a way. Slow and methodical with my journey but always leaving a lasting impression! As always, Freedancer

It Was Beautiful!

The wedding was just beautiful! We couldn't have asked for a nicer day. She was the "Belle of the Ball". She was the most beautiful princess the world has ever seen. He was gallant and handsome. Two star crossed lovers gazing at each other in front of Jesus, taking a life long vow to love and cherish each other until they are called home. Yes...they will be happy. They will love the Lord and they will honor Him always.

I lit the candles and walked back to the foyer where I was led down to my seat. I looked over at my ex-spouse with his new wife. He was happy for his daughter. They were so precious walking down the isle and he stated that "he and her mothers give her to this man". He didn't want to leave out the new one in his life. His boys are precious. They are the boys I could never give him. It wasn't in the cards for me but I gave him a lovely young bride to give away. How proud he was in his tux and shiny black shoes!

The kids danced the night away! They laughed, sang and cried tears of joy. I watched, I thought, I cried tears of a nagging emptiness that I can't seem to shake. It wakes me up in the morning and sends me to bed at night. I don't know what to fill it with now. I ask the Lord to fill it but some how, I am not sure if He is listening to me right now. I call her answering machine just to hear her voice even if she does say a different last name. I miss her terribly and find myself going through page after page of baby pictures and wedding pictures. Will this emptiness ever go away? What do I do now? I feel like I am no longer needed and it makes me sad.

Yes, the wedding was a success. It was a grand show for all to celebrate. I look at this as something I got right in the world. This is something I can show the Lord that I can take some credit for. What will my future bring? How much time have I got left here now? I can remember asking the Lord to let me stay long enough to see my baby walk down the isle. I've asked to hold my grandchildren and watch them graduate high school and college. I've even asked to see a great grandchild. Will He grant me these wishes or will I have to settle now for what I have already seen?

Only you know Lord, what it is that I have left to do. Will you allow me to have a glimpse of what is to come or will I slowly fade into the background of life? As always, Freedancer

My Daughter is Getting Married Tomorrow

It seems just like yesterday that I first wrote and shared the news that my little girl is getting married. It all came up so fast that I can hardly take a breath. Tomorrow is the big day. May 23 2009 at 5:00 pm in the little Baptist church on the corner where my husband and I took our vows. I've been on an emotional roller coaster since the first dress fitting. She looked beautiful then, when she picked out the dress. That was back in August 2008. There she was, all in white, with a lovely red sash around the waist. Gosh, how did I create something so beautiful! Now, it's the night of the rehearsal. We ran through it twice and everyone is ready, except me. My stomach is tied up in knots and I feel like she's slipping further away. The in-laws are the most kind and loving people anyone could ask for. I know this union is of God because for her to have an extended family this precious can only be something straight out of Heaven. As I look at her across the table from me at the rehearsal supper, I no longer see a little girl, she's blossomed into a beautiful Christian woman.

He sits there next to her, all starry eyed and so much in love. I know he will keep her grounded and they will always put God first. I know she will adore him and love him like Christ loved the church. He's strong and handsome, gentle and kind, thrifty and fun. I know she would walk through an alligator infested swamp just to bring him a glass of lemonade and he would do the same for her. How do I let her go? She has been my rock, my best friend and my helpmate. As I light candles tomorrow, how do I turn and hand him the tiny Lilly-white hand that has held mine all of these years? My stomach feels as if it has a thousand butterfly's trapped inside of it and I have cried so may tears that I don' t think there are any more but they will be here, slowly running down my cheeks tomorrow.

I wonder about the journey she will embark on soon. It will be filled with rough patches and tall hills, soft grass and breathtaking valleys. They will lean on each other through the hard times, reaching for Jesus, learning to be more like him. He will be there in their lives, leading, laughing, teaching and hugging them.

My daughter is getting married tomorrow. She will get a husband, I will gain a son and for a few hours, everything in our lives will be perfect! What a joyous occasion it will be! As always, Freedancer